Prayer for the 21st century

For those tired of millennia old prayer methods, here are three easy steps to bring your prayer life into the 21st century:

1. Before praying, make sure you deck out your surrounds with lots of candles. Now, this little secret was discovered years ago, but has been lost amongst a maze of Bibles in in many of our 'contemporary' churches, just as the New Agers rediscover the aromatherapeutic power of the scented candle.

2. It can be hard to find the words to pray, so what you need to do is visit EXAMEN.me, which will do all that for you. And with the internet on your mobile phone, prayer can now be done on the train, at work, anywhere you want!

3. Now you have the prayers, get yourself a Prayer Answer-er.

This snazzy little gizmo will sort out those issues with lack of assurance. Its size may be a little inconvenient, but in a year or two it will have been adjusted so as to be a regular feature of all mobile phones - but don't wait 'til then to get in on the action.